The Pleasure of Small Things

 

Acer in pot

I’m in the middle of a big project. My new novel “Shadows on the Grass” is going through its final edit and I’m writing a spin off story about some of the characters, who make a brief appearance in the book.

The story is only in first draft and though I’m enjoying writing it, there is also the sensation that nothing is finished, which is quite frustrating. It’s as if, in spite of all the hours I’ve spent on my computer, nothing has been achieved.

Frustration leads of a feeling of pointlessness and my way of dealing with this is to concentrate on the small things in life that give me pleasure.

White geraniumThe white geranium, on the bathroom, windowsill, that has blossomed unexpectedly, the show of periwinkleperiwinkle

 

that shines against the dark green of its leaves, a hot cup of tea, kicking through fallen leaves, the burst of colour from an acer, a glass of wine and so much more.

Writing down five good things that have happened during the day helps too. My “Good Things Book” is another of my pleasures.Feel good book A Laura Ashley Notebook, I love the texture of the paper, the print and feel of the colour.

Even writing about my small pleasures makes me smile. “Shadows on the Grass” is on its way, but while I’m waiting, I’ll keep noting down all the good stuff.

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Why What You Wear Matters

In my last blog I talked about how I see my characters. Part of that picture is, of course, what they wear. In “Picking up the Pieces” Liz is partly defined by her hippy skirts and un-tameable hair, Elsa by her designer outfits, while Bernie’s clothes come from chain stores. In “House of HOS cropped AShadows”, black is Jo’s colour. She is an artist and with her silver blonde hair, her black top and jeans and dramatic silver jewellery the image she projects of herself reinforces what she does.

Jo loves beautiful things and although she works with paint and mixed media, using her hands as well as her brushes to produce her paintings of Kingsfield, with their sinister implications, even in her studio she can wear her usual black and look elegant and very much herself.

Years ago, my sister, Anuk Naumann, said that she thought she ought to dress like an artist. She had just given up work as an architect to concentrate full time on her painting. Changing her way of dressing was both symbolic and practical. There is no doubt when you first meet her that Anuk is what she does.Anuk and book

What you wear is a signal to the rest of the world, for we all make instant judgements about the people we meet, and can lead to useful conversations, or at least when you tell someone you write then that does not come as a complete surprise.

It also shows what you think about yourself and how you are feeling. Not bothering, or even being able to wash and dress can be a sign of severe depression. Dressing conventionally, never daring to try anything different, can reveal a lack of confidence, as can,  choosing to dress in a particular role and taking on all the attributes that go with it.

This paradoxically can also be liberating, because dressed as a Goth or a biker, or a punk, you are free to behave in ways you could not before and to explore areas of your personality that would otherwise stay hidden.

On a deep level, what you wear and how you look reinforces your view of yourself. Being a writer is a solitary way of life. It is too easy to slop around all day in pyjamas or old jeans, but for me to look as I see myself, is vital.

We are visual creatures. As writers we use this in our work. In real life it matters too.

Question is, what does a writer look like/wear? I’d love to know your views.

The Bulging Wardrobe: part one

the-bluging-wardrobe

…and what to do about it, or, alternatively, how to declutter your life. That last statement might sound a little ambitious, in fact I’m not sure it’s entirely relevant, but if I start with my clothes, who knows where my new found resolution will end.

As you can see from the picture above, my wardrobe is bulging at the seams. Although everything has been ironed, because it has to be squeezed in between all the other hangers, it gets creased almost as soon as it is put away. Not only that, but once thrust into the darkest recesses clothes have a mysterious way of sliding off their hangers and hiding at the back of the cupboard and the only way to find what I’ve decided I’d like to wear, is to take everything out, bit by bit, lay it on the bed, until either the room resembles a jumble sale, or I find what I was looking for.

I’ve never believed in the adage that you buy one throw one out. I always think, and I’ve been proved right on numerous occasions, if you wait long enough the item will come back into fashion. Sometimes, admittedly, it’s not quite the same, but how many times have we seen bo-ho chic, or pencil skirts, or Capri pants as the must have piece for this year?

So, I have kept clothes dating at least a couple of decades back, and boots for longer than that. Which is fine, but most of the time, I either don’t know where they are, or I’ve forgotten I possess them.

A year or so back, I did a whole six months when I wore a different outfit every day. (I have the pictures to prove it.) The whole exercise took some thought and imagination, but, to be honest, I have so much stuff that I could have kept going for the rest of the year. What stopped me was the time and effort it took.

It’s so much easier to reach in take something off the rail, add a top, or trousers that complement it and get on with the rest of the day.

There’s also the question of whether something I wore in my thirties still looks good. It was this that finally tipped the balance. Trying on a shirt I used to wear, which still fitted, but no longer suited me, I knew it had to go.

This was the obvious solution, so too getting rid of faded T-shirts and worn jumpers. Why then is it so hard to do?

The answer comes in my next post.

Techno Babies

 

ipad-1126136__340

Give a toddler a piece of technology and they seem instinctively to know what to do with it. They use i-pads and tablets as easily as we used to turn the pages of a board book and as soon as they can the nag their parents for a phone, which they will use, naturally, to access cartoons and photos. Once they learn to read and write messaging and googling will be added to their list of skills.

At school, using the computer almost goes without comment. Everyone does it. It’s both a way of learning and being assessed on what you have learned.

Two, or three generations back from this techno savvy tribe, it’s not so easy. Sure, I can use a computer, a lap top, and I do have a smart phone, though more on that in another blog. I google and e-mail and FB and tweet. I use websites to buy stuff. I’m a regular user of Amazon and I have, in the past, uploaded the e-book versions of my “Dragonfire Trilogy”.

The difference between my techno activity and that of my children and their children is that I have to think about it.

While they reach for their phones, access the information, add an app, or two, it takes me a long time to work out how to do it, to the point at which I sometimes wonder why I bother.

Wouldn’t it be so much easier, I think, to sit at my desk and just write?

Sure, but then I wouldn’t be doing this. I wouldn’t be communicating with my friends, or my readers, or engaging in the world of writing and publishing, all of which I enjoy.

So, I’ll post this and then I’ll dig my smart phone out of the bottom of my bag and put it on charge.

Give a toddler a piece of technology and they seem instinctively to know what to do with it. They use i-pads and tablets as easily as we used to turn the pages of a board book and as soon as they can the nag their parents for a phone, which they will use, naturally, to access cartoons and photos. Once they learn to read and write messaging and googling will be added to their list of skills.

At school, using the computer almost goes without comment. Everyone does it. It’s both a way of learning and being assessed on what you have learned.

Two, or three generations back from this techno savvy tribe, it’s not so easy. Sure, I can use a computer, a lap top, and I do have a smart phone, though more on that in another blog. I google and e-mail and FB and tweet. I use websites to buy stuff. I’m a regular user of Amazon and I have, in the past, uploaded the e-book versions of my “Dragonfire Trilogy”.

The difference between my techno activity and that of my children and their children is that I have to think about it.

While they reach for their phones, access the information, add an app, or two, it takes me a long time to work out how to do it, to the point at which I sometimes wonder why I bother.

Wouldn’t it be so much easier, I think, to sit at my desk and just write?

Sure, but then I wouldn’t be doing this. I wouldn’t be communicating with my friends, or my readers, or engaging in the world of writing and publishing, all of which I enjoy.

So, I’ll post this and then I’ll dig my smart phone out of the bottom of my bag and put it on charge.

 

Maddy’s Castle

maddys-castle-2

Pride of place in our dining room is this edifice constructed by my granddaughter, with help from one of her other grannies. My grandchildren have eight grandparents, but more of that on another blog.

The castle has been there for quite a while now, but I am strangely reluctant to relegate it to the recycling bin. I love it because Maddy gave it to me and I when I was young I wanted a toy castle and soldiers. Those, however, were not considered toys for girls and, in any case, there was no way my parents could have afforded anything so expensive.

So my sister and I made our own. We drew and cut out cardboard battlements, plus towers and a keep, then I, being the eldest and at that time marginally better at drawing than Anuk, who went on be a professional artist, but more of that in another blog, drew the king and the queen, the knights and the princes and princesses. Younger sister was allowed free rein on the foot soldiers.

Once we had our characters, the stories could begin. Out of very little we had constructed a world with its own hierarchy, its own history, which kept us occupied for hours and which still exists somewhere deep in one of my mum’s cupboards. Next time I go down to Bristol, I’m going to find them and who knows what these figures will inspire.
In the meantime, now that Maddy’s castle has been photographed, maybe, just maybe it will find its way into the blue bin.

 

Posy Miller

Posy pics from Jonathan 018
Today July 31st is Posy’s birthday. She was born in the middle of a thunderstorm on a hot summer’s night when lightening zig-zagged across an emerald sky. She died, of leukaemia on Christmas Eve, 2002, a crisp blue sharp morning. That night the family gathered at our house for the traditional Polish Christmas meal. We had discussed cancelling it, but Posy’s partner, Kane was adamant that we should go ahead and so we toasted her and the baby who had died with her and celebrated the life she had led.

That evening was typified her life. Whatever Pose did, she did it wholeheartedly and with joy. She might not have made much money, but she worked as an actor even when she was ill, not that she knew how serious it was, none of us did, the kindly couple she was lodging with would bring her breakfast in bed. When she wasn’t working, in those last months, she was writing a hilariously surreal novel about her experiences as a supply teacher in various London schools, corresponding with a prisoner on Death Row, supporting Bob a random stranger she’d met on a train and who also had terminal cancer.

At her funeral we sang “Happy Birthday” her crazy idea and ate the Christmas cake she’d baked.

Later, she starred in “Sam Jackson’s Secret Video Diary.” http://www.samjacksonmovie.co.uk/beyond.html Guy Rowlands’ film about a missing woman, which was screened at the Raindance Festival in the West End and nominated for a British Independent Film Award. Who says you can’t achieve your ambition even after death?

Pose would have been sneaped, however, to have missed all her friends and family gathering in the cinema to see her. She always wanted to be there right in the middle of things and for us she still is. Her photographs are up in all our houses, we talk about her, and toast her on all her important days.

As for me, I talk to her often. When I’m down about my writing, I remember her belief in me and pick myself out of my pit of misery.

And of course she is there in everything I write. She inspired Polly in the “Dragonfire” trilogy and there are traces of her in Mouse, in “Clear Gold.”  She’s Poppy in “Picking up the Pieces” and it’s her accolade that concludes the novel.

Happy Birthday, Pose. I’ve no idea what happens after death, but in the hearts and minds of your friends and family, you are still and always will be here with us.
Posy pics from Jonathan 059

 

An Invasion of Lilies

Lily invasion 2

Lilies have taken over the garden. I can’t get to the vegetable patch, or  hang my washing on the line without being dusted with pollen. I didn’t plan to have so many. Most years there is one well behaved patch, but this year’s warm Spring and, so far, wet and cold, Summer seem to have suited them. Not only are they prolific in their own space, but they are  taking over from other flowers in the border.

I love these bright blooms, the oranges of my feral bunch and the deep scarlet of the well behaved day lilies in their pot on the patio. Unlike the white lilies they are not fraught with significance. For some people Calla Lilies are pure and virginal, flowers to be carried by a bride, for others, however they signifies death and funerals.

A sobering reminder that today is the 100th anniversary of the Battle of the Somme.

The Larks