Asked to write a poem about what she would take back from her time in lockdown, Maddy wrote:
Come back with sugary shortbread
Come back with dangerous dens
Come back with awesome art.
Come back with tremendous talks
Come back with bizarre books
Come back with cool cubes.
Come back with lots of sleep
Come back with wonderous windows
Come back with sun filled meadows.
Come back with refreshing puddles
Come back with rocky road
Come back with happiness.
Her list made me think about what it’s been like for the past seventy-one days and what I’d come back with when it was all over.
If we hadn’t had the sadness of Mum’s death and not being able to mourn her together as a family, then I would say that so far things haven’t been too bad.
They have, however, been very different. I’m not going to write about what I’m missing, but rather I’m going to concentrate on what I’m learning and enjoying about living in lockdown.
First of all there’s no point in trying to look into the future, as no one knows what is going to happen and when. On the other hand there’s no getting away from the fact that anxiety is an ever present thread that can run through everything, so the best thing to do is to accept it. This means that on a bad day, I’ll spend more time than is sensible wiping down door handles, even though I know, deep down, that none of them could possibly have come into contact with the tiniest bit of virus.
Then there are all the good things: morning walks, long chats on the phone with old friends who haven’t been in touch for a while, Skype lessons, loads of time for gardening and playing Scrabble. I’m working my way through the pile of books we’ve had for decades and re-discovering writers like Simenon. I’m baking and exercising and I’ve stopped caring about what my hair looks like. So long as I can wind a scarf around it I’m fine.
I’ve also experienced the vagaries of technology and that it doesn’t matter if my i-phone won’t stay connected to the our Wi fi or if a picture takes a few minutes, or a few days to arrive in my in-box, which is why, in the spirit of acceptance and celebration of randomness, the picture at the top of the blog is the one I should have posted yesterday and which has precious little to do with today’s topic.